Pee-Wee’s Playhouse!!  I was so excited yesterday to find out that Pee-Wee Herman was putting on a series of shows in LA.  I think I will have to drive down just to check one of these shows out. But why no Pee Wee love??  Doesn’t seem like any of my friends is too interested in going?!  What is this fuckery!?  Evelyn even replied “Meh” to me but this isn’t a big surprise because that is her most common reply to activities not involving food or watching Turner Classic Movies.

One of my favorite Pee-Wee appearances was on a 1980s Dolly Parton Special. (Go to 3:45 for their duet)  And all I ever wanted was this playset below!  One time at college I saw it in a teacher’s office and considered theivery but I gave that up when my friend got arrested for stealing 5 bras at a JCPenny. (Tip: people notice when you go from A cup to D cup in 8 minutes.)

Recently I visited Oak Glen and felt compelled to share some apple pickin’ wisdom with ya’ll after this experience.

Insert: <gasps, wonder, and awe>  What the hell?!  Evelyn eats fruit?!  (Damn Eliza and her healthy ways rubbing off on me.  Walking?  What’s that?  Why?  Why you making my legs move?  Where is the TV?)

#1:  October is good apple picking season.

See figure A for happy evelyn with apple:

#2:  Due to #1, you should arrive at your destination early in the morning around 10am to avoid the crowds.  Them crazy Californian’s sure like apple pickin’.

#3:  Bring a jacket.  It’s chilly up there in the hills.

#4:  Do not go to the 1st apple orchard you see.

See figure B for unhappy evelyn disappointed with apple selection:

Ya.  Don’t be fooled by the fancy sign, uncertainty to drive on because what if there are no more apple orchards for miles and you’ve already been driving for 1.5 hours.  Trust me.  There are more farms.

Also, the 1st farm probably does not have the best selection, and probably priced the most expensive.  Drive on to at least the 3rd or 4th orchard for a better selection.

Man, figure B is such an unflattering picture of me.  I wouldn’t have posted it up other than the fact that it’s such a great representation of the crotchety old evelyn I strive to become one day.  Ya.  I’m gonna be that crazy old lady waving the cane at the children and yelling at them to get away from my apple bag.  Eliza will be by my side with her permed blue hair and MC Hammer pants encouraging more children to come by and steal my apples just to piss me off.  Ahhh…doesn’t retirement sound fun?

#5:  Drive into Oak Glen Village and DO get a slice of apple pie a la mode.  DO NOT LEAVE Oak Glen without doing this.  You will sorely regret it.

#6:  Indulge yourself with a candy apple or two.

See figure C of evelyn right before all her teeth falls out:

And there you have it my friend.  I hope you have learned from my mistakes.  Now accepting apple pies as payment for such valuable advice.

Are you a semi lazy person?

Do you feel like you should be doing something but it takes too much effort to actually do something?

Well my friend, the Festival on the Green might be the thing for you!

Normally you would have to pay bucu bucks to see the California Phil Harmonic at the Walt Disney Concert Hall, but during the summer, they are a resident at the The Arboretum in Arcadia for a reasonable price. A friend of mine introduced me to this and I had an awesome time. I think she got the tickets at a discounted price from goldstar.com Get the lawn seats, prepare a picnic, bring a bottle of your favorite wine, and then just sit back, relax and enjoy some good live music. The free roaming peacocks will occasionally squawk along with the orchestra, but it’s all very entertaining. Don’t get the cheese plate. It came with some weird cucumbers and the cheese was pretty mediocre grocery store tasting cheese (the only disappointment of the night) Save yourself some parking money by parking across the street in the Westfield Santa Anita shopping center. You’ll have to do a bit of walking, but it’s so nice outside during the summer, so you should just suck it up.