Ev: oh ya, mother’s day is next month lol
eliza: lol
eliza: get on it yo!
eliza: im getting it all over in 1 blow - mothersday, dads bday, fathers day…big thing of ice cream from Jeni’s Ice Cream
Ev: lol
Ev: have u tried it?
Ev: is it really good?
eliza: best ice cream i have ever had
eliza: honest to gawd
Ev: is it better than haagen daz?
Ev: coz nothing’s better than haagen daz to me
eliza: makes haagen daz look like poo
Ev: you’re poo
eliza: im serious dood!
eliza: i wouldn’t be talkin smack about the HD
eliza: if i wasn’t seriousssss
Ev: haha
Ev: we’ll see
eliza: im callin”1 single tear down face:” action
Ev: lolz

I got Jeni’s Ice Cream as a wedding present and it was glorious!! I cannot say enough nice things about this ice cream except it is worth every expensive penny!  Sell your gold jewelry and go buy it NOW!

And Holy Patootie! Ice Cream Macaroons.  I DIES NOW!!

eliza: oh did Turtlebear think me and phi were way cool
Evelyn: he said you seemed really nice
Evelyn: i explained how we met, became friends, and stayed friends
Evelyn:and he laughed
Evelyn:and i explained basically the top reason i enjoy hanging out with you is how you have the ability to make people feel comfortable about being themselves
eliza: awwww
eliza: you are so my best friend ::hugs::
eliza: i thot you would say cuz she brings my family cookies
Evelyn: and then he agreed and said you don’t make people feel awkward at all
Evelyn:wait, that didn’t come out right lol
eliza: rofl
eliza: i love it
Evelyn:well anyways, he didn’t feel awkward around you
Evelyn: he felt at ease
Evelyn:there, does that sound better?
eliza: somewhat better but i like the other one first
Evelyn:lol
Evelyn: ya but he laughed at the whole “will u be my best friend” thing
eliza: i wish i would of gotten down on one knee
Evelyn: lol

If I could go back in time, I think I would of gotten down on 1 knee with a gumball ring.   I may of chose the horsie ring….

But I’m pretty sure I would of gotten a converse kick to the head instead of my bestest buddy Evelyn.

Evelyn: hey btw
Evelyn:: i’m suppose to punch you
Evelyn: i can’t believe you told Poohead that story I told you about pointy
eliza: lol what pointy story
eliza: i have no clue
Evelyn: That I ran into him, and the first thing he asked about was you
eliza: lol oh yah
eliza: thats such a good story
Evelyn: lol
Evelyn: yo i tell u stuff in confidence man
Evelyn:wtf
Evelyn: lol
eliza: sorry sorry, im a forgetful old biddy
[15:51] eliza: did u run into pointy?
[15:51] eliza: or did pointy email you?
Evelyn: no, Poohead told me
Evelyn: he said when he used to write to you
[15:52] eliza: when did u see poohead? apple pickin?
Evelyn:: he would ask you about me
Evelyn:and then he thought you might have been offended
Evelyn: due to that story i told you about pointy
[15:53] eliza: lol
[15:53] eliza: i should tell that story from now on when people ask me about you
[15:53] eliza: maybe i will write an email to poohead telling him im glad he got the message!

So Evelyn told me how she saw Pointy one day at school.  She hadn’t seen him in a while and they walked toward one another. The conversation went as follows

Evelyn: Hi
Pointy: Is eliza here?
Evelyn: no
And donny walked off.

This is how I dream all my friends behave without me.  If  I’m not there, then there is no reason to talk to one another.  But I guess senor poohead, thinks I’m insulted  from me relaying Pointy and Evelyn’s encounter.  I will have to work this into a free cookie….

My friend Yoohoo(As she will be known)  I love her a lot but we always get into text arguements.

Here is a transcript from one such argument.

eliza: grawr
Yoohoo:Ha! GARRGLE-GARGLE! W.U.W.T! Garr u!
Yoohoo: ?
Yoohoo:Dude just kidding on last text :i Just wish I could b there but cant cuz already planned camp w/ other Peeps
eliza:Hmph! Didn’t invite us camping
Yoohoo:Peace?!
eliza:Spaghetti and Meatballs!!!!!!!!!

I will address the meatball issue in a future comic.  I am sure you are sorry for me and I made Yoohoo’s text red so you could tell how evil she is.  Also here is a picture of her beating me up as she texts me.  The Horror.  But she does have a fine booty as you can see.

ME and Evelyn have lots of good conversations by chatting online.  Me or she will post some once a week for your viewing pleasure.  Because I know many of you want to know our secret hopes and desires….well we really only feel comfortable saying them to a computer monitor. Enjoy

Evelyn: hey reservation confirmed for sunday, 8:15pm, 7 people under the name Eliza
Evelyn: however, I gave them my phone number ###-###-####
Evelyn: because i didn’t have yours off the top of my head
eliza: what!
eliza: you don’t have mine memorized
eliza: such a sad bff moment
Evelyn: you’re on my speed dial
Evelyn: i don’t need to memorize it
eliza: am i #1 on the speed dial?
Evelyn: #1 in my heart
eliza: bitch
Evelyn: lolz
eliza: lol jk
Evelyn: #1 in spirit
eliza: awww

I actually have no clue what Evelyn’s number is. The only number I have memorized is to Porto’s Bakery in Glendale.  Lets gaze upon their guava cheese streudal and you will understand why…..