Every year around this time, the Asian seafood restaurants start running crazy specials on them delicious delicious King Crab legs.  This is probably about the most important news you’ll hear from me all year.  $3.99/lb baby!  How are you not stuffing your face already?!

Didn’t think it was possible, but I managed to overdose on chocolates this past Sunday.  Was green to the face, sick to the stomach, made two trips to the crapper, and was ready to tackle the rest of the box by evening.

This is usually what happens with food gifts between me and Evelyn.  One of us will take a bite of it or immediately expect a bite of whatever delectable treat it happens to be.  I don’t think I have ever taken a bite out of EVERYTHING though…..  Although that would happen if it was the Deluscious Valentine Cookie Box.

But I am positive she would not blame me for doing that………muhahahhaaa

(On a side note, why do I always draw myself with 1 arm in the air……Maybe I should have 1 arm in the air as my new look….hmmmm)

Today my good buddy Maverick died.

You were my first fish, and an excellent source of distraction.

I will miss you much.

Today Amazon bought Zappos.  This is a big deal in the .com world coz Amazon paid bucu bucks for them.

Anyway, The Wall Street Journal posted the following letter from Zappos CEO to their staff:

http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2009/07/22/zappos-ceos-letter-to-staff/

There were 3 excerpts that I found highly amusing:

#1.)  Please set aside 20 minutes to carefully read this entire email.

[Evelyn] lol.  i wish i had the luxury to demand people do this.  eh, i guess when you’re a CEO…

#2.)  Q: Will we get a discount at Amazon?

No, because we are planning on continuing to run Zappos as a separate company with our own culture and core values. And we’re not going to be giving the Zappos discount to Amazon employees either, unless they bake us cookies and deliver them in person.

[Evelyn] Um so like, this is pretty much PPP Hour’s policy towards everything.  What?  You want us to do something?  Cookies!  Gimme!  Nao!

#3.) Q: Can you please stop?

okthxbye

[Evelyn] To Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh:  I appreciate your brand of humor!  :D  That is, if this email was even real.  If it wasn’t, I was still highly entertained by whoever wrote it.

This weekend I went up to SF to visit Liz and she took me to a fancy Chinese restaurant called “Heaven’s Dog”.  Even though the setting was ultra modern, the food still tasted pretty authentic.   Stick with the main entrees though, and go somewhere else for dessert.  Let it be known that I was the idiot that fell for this number: “Jasmine Tea Granita with milk, melon, and mango”.  The waitress described the dessert as “refreshing”. 

Refreshing my ass.  This was what they served me…

And they dared to charge $7 for this piece of crap.

I think if they actually served me a piece of crap, it might have filled the plate better.

Awhile back, I thought it’d be really neat to make a sculpy version of “El Davitor”:

Unfortunately, my sculpy skillz were too noob, and I couldn’t quite work out the flaming “hair” part.

So it was either bald El Davitor…

Or give him a mohawk.

This is what I ended up with:

As you can see, El Davitor spent a tad too long in the oven and got a burnt hairdo.  T_T

Whenever anybody walks by now and catches a glance of El Davitor, I always get the same reaction…

“Hey!  Is that a chicken!?”

I imagine this will be a headline in the papers someday.  This is a serious matter folks!  Why would anybody ever walk to the fridge again when you can just teleport that turkey leg straight onto your lap.

(This rant was the result of Liz & Phiyen getting me Watchmen comic book for my bday)

“…We both love bacon and country music, what more could you possibly want?”

What more could he want?  It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am.  Movie characters might chase each other through the fog or race down the stairs of burning buildings, but that’s for beginners.  Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.  I wanted to say something to this effect, but my hand puppets were back home in their drawer.  Instead, I pulled my chair a few inches closer, and we sat silently at our little table on the square, looking for all the world like two people in love.

~ David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

There were so many great excerpts from this book and it was tremendously difficult to choose a favorite one.  Well, couldn’t help myself…had to go with the one that mentioned “bacon”.

evelyn

Happy 2009! 

Yo!  You know what really grinds my gears?  Friggin when women pee on the seat.  I’ve never understood that.  If you don’t want to sit on the toilet, that’s fine.  Just use one of those goddamn paper seat covers!  Why must you stoop over the seat and leave pee residue for the next person???  !@#$%   And what is up with people not flushing???  How do you forget to flush?!  You don’t forget to wipe.  Flushing is like the next natural act that follows wiping.  Grrrrrrrrr

** Shakes Fist **